You may find that you are constantly saying that you want to find love and happiness, yet you continue to fight for relationships that you need to let go of and easily quit on your life dreams that you should be fighting for. You cannot have it both ways-- you need to open yours eyes and get your priorities in order if you truly want the love and happiness that you deserve.
We all make mistakes in our lives but you have to realize where people are in their life journey and know when to let go. Dating is the time that you use to determine someone's character, loyalty, if they are trustworthy and if they are in line with the standards and boundaries that you set for your relationships- it's a weeding out process, not the falling in love, making babies process. Therefore this is the time that you take to observe things about that person that are deal breakers-- everyone has all the great qualities when we first meet them, that's why you started dating in the first place. You have to be patient enough to really get to know someone and see if they do things, say things or have issues in their life right now that you do not want to deal with possibly for the rest of your life. That does not mean that they are a bad person and things for them won't eventually get better--they just aren't a match for you where you are right now in your journey. There are plenty of people that have a past but have turned their life around and are available for you. Why would you choose to fight for someone if they have not gotten to the point of fighting for themselves? Then you get married or bring innocent children into a situation that you could have avoided, then you turn around and complain about someone that was not ready to change but you chose to overlook the issues for the sake of being in a relationship.
When it comes to your life dreams and goals you settle for the way things are right now instead of fighting to do better. It does not matter if you are working at McDonalds as a cashier-- figure out what you need to do to become the manager and then work on owning a McDonalds. If you are a cashier, talk to the manager about the things you need to do to get promoted, etc... Instead, obstacles get in your way then you quit trying to achieve more. Then you complain that the job sucks when you could be doing more to advance your situation.
A lot people get defensive when I say these things, but those are the people going in circles from one bad relationship to the next instead of trying something different-- especially if what you are currently doing isn't working. DATE before you commit to a relationship. Let go of the people you date that are not a match. Work on doing research on the internet, library or talk to people that have achieved the things that you are striving for so that you can progress in your field and perfect your craft. Fight for your dreams. As always, the choice is yours.
Jamillah Foulkes~ Empower U
empoweru@jfempoweru.com